Posted on Thursday, 7th May 2009 by Bruce
Comedian Jeffrey Jena, writing at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Hollywood blog, offers his predictions for the next 100 days of the Obama presidency. Jena’s prophecies:
“Here are some things that will happen in the next one hundred days:1. Barack Obama gives the commencement address at Notre Dame. He urges the Church to lighten up! Notre Dame needs to be more inclusive. Since they have already lowered their standards by honoring a pro-abortion politician maybe they could drop their admission requirements and stop discriminating against the stupid.
2. Obama encourages Congress to pass the so called “Cap and Trade†legislation. Without this legislation he says temperatures will rise sharply through June, July and August. If the bill is passed cooling could start as soon as late September or early October.
3. Obama comes up with a great plan for the prisoners at Gitmo. They start a military tribunal to try the prisoners and then hold them in a new prison to be built on the U. S. Naval Base at Diego Garcia. All prisoners at Guantanamo Bay are sent to the middle of the Indian Ocean and the reputation of the United States is restored! Why didn’t the Bush administration think of this!
4. President Obama nominates himself to the Supreme Court! There’s no Constitutional prohibition to him holding the two offices and since he is a multi-tasker he doesn’t think the job is above his pay grade.
5. Perez Hilton says anyone who believes in traditional marriage is a stupid %$#^& and intolerant! He repeats the statement so many times that the irony builds up in his bloodstream and he becomes magnetic. He exempts President Obama from his wrath because he says everyone knows he was just saying that to get elected.
6. The White House unveils plans for some new photo-ops that include a cruise missile flying by the Texas Statehouse.
7. The Department of Health and Human Services announces a possible pandemic of summer colds. Secretary Sebelius reminds the public that the swine flu had killed only one more person than the common cold.
8. President Obama has no news conferences in July due to a labor stoppage by the International Brotherhood of Teleprompter Operators.
9. Janet Napolitano announces that she found a new way to discover potential enemies of the state. Many of them are registered on their county voting rolls under the heading “Republican.â€
10. The OMB announces that by going line by line over the budget it will save over $35,364 over the next seventeen years by having DiGiorno instead of delivery.
Posted in Home | Comments (3)
3 Responses to “Visualize the future”
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May 7th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Don’t forget the Media backing him 110%. They will broadcast every little thing he does as a great victory, while of course our pockets are picked.
Latest is he saved 17 billion, he saved us, he saved us. He exclaimed we have to cut somewhere, even though its just one the day after he gave 64 billion to other countries.
Ah, this years budget deficit is on the order of 500 billion, 17/500 is on the order of 1.4%, where is he going to cut to get the other 98.6% off the books?
But the media exclaims he saved us, even though they were for the military, for protecting our freedom.
So give 64 billion to other countries to build up their military under the guise of humanitarian aid, and reduce our technology for protecting ourselves.
May 7th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
#8 was my favorite… and would be a dream come true…
May 9th, 2009 at 9:17 am
In reference to #3, if they insist that they be held in the United States, I suggest Kodiak Alaska. it would be a nice change from the balmy Cuba, and you have furry 1,500lbs. prison guards if anyone escapes.
Of course, Adak Alaska would also be another good option.