Posted on Saturday, 15th December 2007 by Patrick Dorwin
Yesterday we learned of the tragic passing of a friend of many in the Blogosphere, Tom (Triticale). Today his wife Deirdre was gracious enough to share more information with us. Not only did this tragedy hit during the Christmas season, but Monday would have been Tom’s birthday and Friday would have been their 35th wedding anniversary.
Deirdre confirms what Nick posted from Tom’s brother, they are planning a memorial service this spring, she wants it to be a happy time of remembrance, so she will wait until the hurt isn’t as sharp. I know that date will be passed around the many blogs of Tom’s friends when it is available.
Here is the letter from Deirdre.
Hi, Tom’s wife here — Tom passed away Thursday night. It was
discovered that not only did he have the leukemia (which the chemo
took care of) but also lung cancer which spread to the brain.Chemo for the lung cancer would have killed him, radiation would only
take care of the brain, however the brain had already been severely
damaged & surgery was out of the question as he would have bled to
death. Also, the cancer was very aggressive & it was decided to give
him comfort measures only. The doctor had warned me that they didn’t
know if he could breathe on his own as that was a portion of the
brain that had been attacked by the cancer. Thursday night they
removed the resperator & Tom could not breathe one his own. The
hospital staff had him nicely drugged on morphine so he was unaware
that he couldn’t breathe & left peacefully. Even if he had survived
Thursday night he probably would not have survived Friday as his
blood pressure was dropping & was already down to about 85/50 when I
left the hospital Thursday evening.However, my son was able to get
here & say his goodbye as were various adopted nieces & nephews.This is a very difficult time for me. Not only is it Christmastime,
but Monday (12-17) would have been Tom’s birthday & Friday (12-21)
would have been our 35th anniversary. So I’ve got the triple whammy here.I’ve decided I’m sick of snow & have given myself permission to hold
the Memorial Service in Spring or Summer. I’ve also decided that I
want to have a happy memorial service & need a few months to take the edge off.I will let you know what the date will be — most likely on a
Saturday as most people are off work that day & there are a number of
folks interested in driving in from Illinois & also our son will be
coming from Missouri.Thanks for getting the word out.
Posted in Home | Comments (4) |
4 Responses to “Triticale update”
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December 16th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Our prayers are with you, Deirdre. If you need anything, I believe you know how to contact me.
I am so sorry for your loss.
December 16th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Deirdre sounds like a very very strong woman.
I didn’t know Tom, but I did have a few conversations with him on blogs. I’m so very sorry for Tom’s wife and family. I can’t imagine the grief associated with such a sudden loss of such a vibrant, intelligent, vigorous loved one. God bless Deirdre and all of Tom’s loved ones.
Deirdre, on a much lighter note, you’re wise to hold a Memorial service in warmer times, because, BRUCE doesn’t have any boots!! (wink)
Once again, I sincerely wish Deirdre and family my heartfelt condolences. I’d also like to credit Patrick for his goodness and decency.
Never forget to tell those you love, “I love you”.
December 16th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
[...] just seems so impersonal for such a big event. I’m mentioning it now because after reading Deirdre’s letter to Patrick, I suddenly remembered how we sometimes just need to do the things that need to be done. Deirdre [...]
December 17th, 2007 at 9:20 am
My Condolences to your loss, Deirdre.